What do you mean by terrify their parents? What are you referencing when you say that most teens engage in this behavior? I'm definitely seeing most American teens doing anything to avoid scrutiny but that doesn't mean that their choices don't terrify their parents. Amongst the more protective parents, _anything_ their teen does that is about social status management terrifies the parents. This creates a pretty bad cycle of deception and attempts to hide what's going on, much of which is "normal" teen behavior. One thing that is definitely at play is that there's a LOT more surveillance going on. Your teen-parent dialogue has been pretty much obliterated because parents aren't allowing their teens out without a justification... no justification, no going out. Plus, the phone is there as a constant leash. I am, sadly, finding that some teens engage in some pretty heart- wrenching activities to gain the attention of parents whose focus is elsewhere. This appears to cross SES. In particular, i've seen self- harm (primarily cutting) used for this purpose. Anything to make their parents pay attention to them... These stories kill me. I've also seen plenty of teens who are genuinely angry at their parents (much of this seems to stem from divorce or violence between the parents); their reaction to this can be self-destruction. I suspect that the reason for this is that the parents actually come together over the kid so when the kid is in crisis.. this motivates some teens to be in crisis. danah On Jan 20, 2007, at 1:27 PM, Barry Wellman wrote:

I am puzzled by the notion that most teens will do things to terrify their parents. Are there data on that? Or is it just autobiographical projection?

Speaking autobiographically, and from a distance of 50 years, I suggest that most teens will try to avoid their parents' scrutiny. Terrifying them would only bring more scrutiny.

"Where did you go? "Out. "What did you do? "Nothing."

is the title, of a book about teen-parents relationships. By Robert Paul Smith. Published in 1959, which suggests that it was a general phenomenon then for my generation. And still in print, according to Amazon, which suggests some longterm relevance.

Barry Wellman, with fond memories for the Fordham Flames. _____________________________________________________________________

Barry Wellman S.D. Clark Professor of Sociology NetLab Director Centre for Urban & Community Studies University of Toronto 455 Spadina Avenue Toronto Canada M5S 2G8 fax:+1-416-978-7162 wellman at chass.utoronto.ca http://www.chass.utoronto.ca/~wellman for fun: http://chass.utoronto.ca/oldnew/cybertimes.php _____________________________________________________________________

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