This is tangentially related, more pertinent to a theme heading of "email PREVENTING friendships". In some cases, without knowing or remembering that e-mail posted to a list may in fact be publicly archived for all Net users to read, members of a list may write in casual terms on complex or sensitive topics, or write in the heat of the moment. For months afterwards, in one case I know of, the individual in question continued to receive hate mail from perfect strangers who had come across the message after doing a Google search on a particular topic. This may have certain f2f parallels, but I don't think the "damage" can be as enduring, for "ordinary" individuals, as it is on the Internet. Cheers, Max. ----- Original Message ----- From: <stuszyn@bgnet.bgsu.edu> To: <air-l@aoir.org> Sent: Sunday, April 27, 2003 11:44 AM Subject: [Air-l] Re: email destroying friendships?
--The permanence or relatively long-lasting imprinting of words can sometimes affect people more deeply than words uttered in passing.
While I dislike anything that priviledges f2f contact over electronic, I do have to agree with this, especially since email means different things to different users. I've known people who compulsively save every communication they receive. This can lead to problems when an email written in the heat of a moment comes back to haunt the writer a few weeks later when calm has been restored (I tend to act as though anything I put out on the net in any form can always come back at me later). Similarly, a political discussion gone bad in person can perhaps fade from memory more readily than an email which can be saved and reread over and over.
Something I keep thinking when I read studies about CMC in relationships (or in any arena) is that the studies aren't long-term, at least not yet. I believe that long term studies of use of CMC in relationships would end up yielding results that match up fairly well with f2f relationships. While email and chat and so forth can make communication easier to do/require less physical effort, the technology itself does not maintain a relationship. No matter what form you use to communicate with another person, you both have to work to keep it going. :)
ST
"The right use of language, respect for it, care and attention in engaging in it, implies - demands, makes real - morality, and ethics. The right use of language leads to respect, care and attention for others. Language is a moral activity."
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